A sister's regret
by Hecoand
Summary: SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. DO NOT READ UNTIL COMPLETION OF MERCEDES'S PARALOGUE! Mercedes can't sleep due to the recent events in the last battle. nightmares pleague the holy sister of her brother crying in the dark...


It was dark. I could barely see anything. All I was hearing is cries. Cries for help. Asking for when I will arrive.

I turn my head around and try to pin point the source of the crying. That voice... It could only belong to one person. A voice so sweet and innocent..!

"Emile? Emile where are you?"

I cried out in the darkness, my legs weak as I try to slouch my way to the source. His cries getting louder twist my heart, but it means I am getting closer.

"Mercedes! Where are you? Big sister! Help me.. Help me!"

I bit my lip hard as I try to go faster. Where is he? Why didn't he show up? He's my little brother. I have to find him.. I couldn't forgive myself if anything were to happen to him.

I finally find my brother soon enough. I am weak, my knees shake as I hold out my hand to him. His eyes are terrified. But they don't seem to notice me. My throat is tight.. Too tight to speak. A pair of hands suddenly grab onto Emile's shoulder and I fear the absolute worst. Why can't I use my magic? Why can't I do anything?

Slowly, a helmet is put into his face. A dark, horned helmet with glowing red eyes. He sturggles so much to not put it on. His tears fall faster as his legs try to kick the ones holding him. Yet he doesn't see me. I can't use my magic. I can't call out to him. I can only watch in stupefied horror as this abomination is put on my brother's head. And suddenly, the darkness explodes.

I all on my back. The feeling of cold steel all over my back. I get up in a panic.

"emile? Emile? Where are you?" I ask desperately, soon to be face to face with a tall Knight, a scythe in hand looking down at me. His helmet hiding his face but my heart knows it all.

"Emile... I.." the death Knight stays silent. His free hand opening and closing in a odd unnatural matter.

"YoU..MeRcedes..nevEr came..." his voice is deep. And my head throbs at the accusation. But he's right. I look up at his face once more, before his tall body falls back, landing with disgusting splash in a poddle his own blood. I hear his bone creak and crack. The loud snap is enough to make me cry out in despair...!

I soon wake up, drenched in sweat as my heart beats against my chest like there won't be a tomorrow. I can hear no sound or feel no sunlight touch my skin.

"a nightmare..." I mumble to myself as I get up, only grabbing my bishop outfit and getting out. There was no way I could sleep after that. Tomorrow was the fight against enbar and yet... My heart wasn't in it. The war would most likely end tomorrow, but I found out I couldn't not care. My friends would be happy. Free of the war. But..

My confused and aimless steps bring me to the cathedral. It's still mostly in ruin but in the death of night, it's silent and peaceful. But nothing can help my aching heart. Maybe... Maybe I should pray?

I come closer and put my hands together, muttering my prayer. But the more I think about my prayer, the more it makes me ache.

"oh goddess.. No.. Emile. If you can hear me.. Please forgive me. I..."

I can't even finish my sentence. Why should I even bother? I can't even admit my own failures. I left him in house bartels. I left him alone in this twisted house. He probably cried out for me. Hoped I would come back to him. Save him.

But no.

All I did was go shopping. Bake cakes. And sometimes reminisce about him. I had years to go and get him. I killed him. My own inaction killed him. He was changed into this knight of death and terror. Someone so sweet turned into a blood knight, and it's all my fault.

I let my knees drop to the floor, my eyes looking up at the debris of the cathedral. Sister... Bishop... I failed at both of theses things. I couldn't save him. No in fact... I killed him. My own brother.

But I couldn't burden anyone to care for me right now. I was alone in my suffering. Wallowing in my regrets. My eyes started to sting as I remember his face, his pleas and our time together. Even when he came back 5 years ago in the academy.. I couldn't recognise him.

"I failed as a sister. I failed as a Bishop..i..i am nothing." I mumble in hands before letting the tears flow. Of course, no one would come to check on me. The night was silent. My crying and sobbing being the only sound resonating in the cathedral. I was unmoving on my knees. Head looking up for something.. Anything.. Anyone to maybe lighten my burden.

But no one came.

I never spoke of my worries to anyone. But why should I? I couldn't help my own blood. Emile had faith in me. And I betrayed that faith. I let him in this house of the dead and twisted. His cries fell on deaf ears. What would that make.. No..

What was i?

A monster? A killer?

No... I was only one thing.

A failure of a sister. I deserved no salvation. No shoulder to cry on. The only comfort I was worthy of was the cold steel ground or the soaked dirt. Nothing was more fitting for someone like me, an inactive family killing fool whom only help others to feel good about herself. Yes. I deserved every last one of theses punishments.

Right...Emile..?


End file.
